Getting to No

"Principled negotiation is a strategy that seeks to move both parties away from polarizing and usually entrenched positions, and into the realm of interests. It asks how both parties can get their interests satisfied while keeping their relationship strong. Negotiating well means neither party need feel cheated, manipulated, or taken advantage of...

"[Autonomy is] one of five "core concerns" Shapiro's research identifies as critical in creating disputes and finding resolution. He defines autonomy as a person's freedom to make decisions for himself.

"The other core concerns are appreciation, or having actions acknowledged; affiliation, being treated as a colleague; status, feeling that others respect one's standing; and having roles and activities that are fulfilling. Cross one of the needs and conflict arises. Respect them, and compromise is around the corner.

"The most important element of effective negotiation is preparation, preparation, preparation... Advises Shapiro: 'Take those core concerns and write them on a piece of paper. Figure out which of them are being violated for you and for the other person.'

Listen First

"'There's a saying among negotiators that whoever talks the most during a negotiation loses,' says Bobby Covic, author of Everything's Negotiable! Being the first one to listen is crucial to building trust. Just getting the listening part of a negotiation right can satisfy many of the core concerns Shapiro cites.

"However, listening—really paying attention to what the other person has to say—is hard. Gregorio Billikopf, a negotiator for the University of California system, offers several good listening practices:

Sit Down...
Find Common Ground
Transition to the problem...
Move In...
Keep Your Cool...
Be Brief...
Avoid Empty Threats...
Get to 'No'
If you never hear "no," when you negotiate, you haven't asked for enough."

Read more in an article from Psychology Today from which the foregoing was excerpted, by following this link: http://psychologytoday.com/articles/index.php?term=pto-4253.html

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Hope things free up for you in the future.

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Anonymous said...

Apologies for being a little OT, but how does one start a negotiation when the threat of a lawsuit hangs over the proceedings?

How does a small company hope to negotiate with a large corporate behemoth to license a patent in a new technology area? With the number of patents out there this is an area of concern.

Here’s an example of just such an occurrence:

Microsoft just recently applied for a patent on a touchscreen that could touch back


Quoting this article:
“The Microsoft screen can reportedly produce a real texture, using pixel-sized memory plastic cells that can be ordered to protrude from the surface of the display upon demand.”

Now a number of blogs discussing this application have mentioned an issued patent # 5,717,423 that seems to be virtually the same thing - as described in its claims:

“1. A three-dimensional display comprising:

a display shape comprising:

(i) visual display means

(ii) supporting means for said visual display means

actuation means engaged with said display supporting means for the purpose of imparting motion to said display shape

means for conducting signals to and from said visual display means and said actuation means.”

The question in a situation like this is how would one approach the company moving into this area without engendering a lawsuit in return?

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Adrian said...

What does it mean to say that if the answer is "no" than you haven't asked enough?" Does it just mean that you should keep asking until the other party gives in, or does it mean that you have not gotten to the crux of the issue?

Chris Lowden said...

My firm mediation Australia is expanding by opening offices in every Australian capital city. It seems to me that aside from learning the various techniques and issues in the conduct of mediation, good mediators need some fundamental characteristic to their personality. When I first meet our Alliance Partners and have a preliminary chat, I look for the extent of EQ. For without EQ, mediators are unlikely to be able to encourage confidence in their clients of the concept of walking in the other party's shoes. How do I measure EQ? Simply by thinking how the person makes me feel and how they express their thinking of experiencing the outlook and character of their former clients. Sure, there is no quantitative measure of EQ and that it qualitative and subjective. Of course their intelligence and common sense shines through and are also important, but I still place a very high level of importance on EQ.

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Chris Hildebrand said...

I am a family law attorney who mediates many divorce cases and found your article very interesting. The style of a mediator has to vary depending upon the personalities of the parties and their lawyers. Perhaps more so in divorce cases than other types of cases, but nevertheless personality conflicts between the parties or their counsel is oftentimes the greatest challenge to overcome in a mediation. Thank you for taking the time for writing such a great article about mediation. I definitely have some "take aways" I will use in my own divorce mediation practice in Arizona. https://www.hildebrandlaw.com/divorce-mediation-attorneys-in-arizona.aspx

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