Teaching Peace

From this Staff Matters article:

In Teaching Peace - A Guide for the Classroom and Everyday Life (2003), Leah Wells uses work by Colman McCarthy to bring Gandhi's principles of non-violent solutions into contemporary consideration for people today. Interestingly, these principles connect very closely with contemporary writing about conflict resolution in Western society.

Colman expounds Gandhi's 9 steps as follows:

1. Define the conflict. What is it that you are actually fighting over?...Can one person believe the argument is over one issue and the other person believes the argument is about a completely different issue?

2. Work on what's doable...When you work on what you can actually do and accomplish, the tangible goals of resolving the conflict seem more real and viable.

3. Resolve the dispute in a neutral place...

4. Don't ask what happened. Ask instead 'What did you do?' Asking what happened elicits emotions and promotes blame. Asking 'what did you do?' encourages the person to use 'I' messages and focus on the facts of the situation.

5. List the shared elements of the relationship versus the one unshared separation...People, even those who are in the midst of a disagreement, still have common ground. We all have the need for love, acceptance, understanding, belonging and attention. These are good places to start when there are many hurt feelings or when the conflict is particularly heated.

6. It's not you versus me but you and me versus our problem... Colman says 'you're not the problem, and I'm not the problem but rather the problem is the problem'. We have to work together on solving our shared conflict and work at not demonising the other person but acknowledging their humanity and core value.

7. Work on your forgiveness skills...true forgiveness means that the evil act no longer stands as a barrier to the relationship, and that we must separate the evil from the evildoer.

8. Work on your listening skills...True listening means that you are hearing the words, the underlying messages, the heart messages and the intentions of the person and truly attempting to grasp what they are relating.

9. Purify your heart. One of my favorite things to ask my students is how they do this. Some say that they play sports, meditate, pray, sleep, hike, write in a journal or talk with friends. Many report that being close to nature makes them feel purified.

Exploring the Language of Mediation

This research paper from Andrew Rixon, Viv McWaters and Sascha Rixon focuses on the question of “Is there is such a thing as ‘speaking facilitatively’?” Thinking in terms of ecologies of language use, it asks whether there may be a particular style of communication, and language, inherent within the practice of facilitation. Its findings"indicate that facilitators do have an implicit understanding of what it means to ‘speak facilitatively’. Furthermore, this style of speech appears to be based on respect for the group and encompasses linguistic politeness devices..."

The paper includes the following examples of facilitative language:

Setting of ground rules
“Our purpose today…”
“What is the purpose of our meeting?”
“What would be the ideal outcome?”
“Where do you want to have got to when we go out that door?”
“Relax and enjoy the journey”
“Everyone’s opinion is valued, there are no wrong answers”
“All ideas are valued”
“It’s an honour to work with you”

Acknowledging participants’ contributions
“That’s an excellent thought. You are very (sincere praise).”
“That interests me, say more”
“Thank you for sharing”
“Great- good- I like it- excellent- Spot on”

Probing
“Say more…”
“Can you say more about…”
“Could you say more?”
“Tell me more about that…”
“Can you tell me more about that?”
“Please, tell me more about that.”
“Yes, please go on.”
“Say more about that if you will…”
“Please tell me more about what you mean when you stated…”
“Tell us a little more about this.”

Garnering participation
“I’m wondering how this might look/appear/feel/seem to you?”
“I invite you to…”
“I’d like to invite you to participate in…”
“Tell me about a time when…”
“I’m curious to know what others think”
“What do others think?”
“Does anyone else have [something]?”

Reflecting and clarifying
“What I have heard is…”
”Am I correct in observing that…”
“So what you’re saying is…”
“What I’m hearing is…Is that right?”
“Please clarify”
“What I hear you saying…”
“Can you help me be more clear in my mind about…”

Good stuff.

Mediation in Organizational Conflict Management

This article from ballew.org contains a good overview of conflict issues within organizations, suggesting useful ways to manage and resolve conflicts before the organization is irreparably damaged. Among the nuggets is this description of mediation and its potential uses within organizations:

"Mediation is a way of handling conflict in which two or more disputing parties meet with trained, impartial mediators in a good faith attempt to resolve their issues. The mediators facilitate an exchange in which the parties clarify the issues, hear each other's perspectives, provide new information and move toward an agreement. The mediators do not impose decisions or give advice. Mediation is a practical process through which the mediator assists the parties themselves to check facts, share feelings, exchange perceptions and ideas, and work toward agreement. In mediation the parties have responsibility for the resolution. An agreement is reached when the parties are satisfied with all of its terms.

Examples of workplace situations in which mediation works well are:

Disputes between co-workers or colleagues who are unable to function together in the workplace environment.

Interdepartmental conflicts.

Communication breakdowns/barriers."

Conflict Dynamics Checklists

For people struggling with difficult conflicts, these checklists from BeyondIntractability for intermediaries and adversaries hghlight conflict dynamics that are helpful to understand, as well as options for dealing with common problems. Topics covered include:

"International Conflict, Peacebuilding, Post-Conflict Stabilization
Public Policy
Workplace / Organizational Conflict
Interpersonal Conflict"